just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
