Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
