You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
