Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
