Even the bartender felt bad for me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
