Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
