Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
