that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
