Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We had to coat check the pizza.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
