Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
