I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
