I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize