My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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