i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
