I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
