you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Randomize
