he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
