Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
