I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
