I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
