smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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