This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
