I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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