return my video game
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
