so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
