So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
