Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
