if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
