i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
