Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
