I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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