Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Dear god my vagina.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
