Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
