hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
