My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
