Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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