So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
