so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
