well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
