this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
