so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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