I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So drunk its hurt
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
