I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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