he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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