I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
