I want to make a zoo with you.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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