I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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