well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
