You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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