all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
