Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
